peer review on first draft

My workshop went well and I received plenty of vaulable information. First of all my draft is the first two paragraphs of my essay. My peers helped me plan out the rest of my essay. Im doing a timeline of my favorite tv shows growing up. I started with pokemon and spongebob. I planned out the rest of the shows I want to write about to be powerpuff girls, jersey shore, walking dead, and keeping up with the kardashians. They also helped me determine that the focus of my essay is how these shows connected me and my family. How we all used to watch tv together in one room. These shows gave us something to do together and created a common interest between us. I plan on showing how my family used to connect through tv to how now we all watch our seperate shows in different rooms. How now all our tastes in shows have changed and we are all interested in watching different things. I think this chage is kind of sad because weve lost something that we all used to enjoy doing together. But I realize that its a part of life and we all have to grow up and develop our own interests.